Just Julie

I am many things: a single mom, a feminist, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a writer, a lover of black licorice, and, oh yeah... a person with multiple sclerosis. If I didn't tell you about the MS, you would probably never guess. You see, my most troublesome symptoms are invisible--vision loss and fatigue — so I don't "look like" a person with MS (whatever the heck that is).

Before I was diagnosed with MS, I thought I was invincible. Now, I know I am. I may not be as physically strong as I used to be and I need to accept some limitations in my life, but I am not my disease. I have MS; it does not have me.

I have to live in my own skin and, it's just not fun to be in such close proximity to a whining pessimist who only focuses on the negative. We've all got something. I've got MS. I heard once that if everyone in the world put their troubles into a big pile, we would probably all choose to take our own stuff back. I am not Pollyanna (I swear too much for one thing), but I think she was on to something with the whole "glad game" idea. I feel the crappy stuff because denying it doesn't make it go away, but then I let it go, find something funny about it, laugh loudly, and move on.

This is going to sound crazy but I truly believe that MS is a gift in my life. It's made me stronger in all the ways that really matter. It's helped me to focus on what's really important — mostly my children and the people that I love — and it's taught me that living in the moment is what it's all about. With MS, I don't know what tomorrow will bring but, you know what I've realized? NO ONE does! We just know it in a more in your face kind of way.

So, if you want to meet an MS patient with all kinds of medical knowledge about MS, you probably won't like getting to know me. I am just another bozo on the bus who is doing my best to keep moving, keep laughing, and keep on, keeping on...with multiple sclerosis.